I'm... alive, apparently.

I think I'm getting my creative drive back.

Whoohoo!

Merry-not-quite-Christmas-or-whatever-you-actually-celebrate!

Things are getting better (sort of).

I also plan to slip on Lia's dress and try to get photos of myself where the lighting isn't so bad. I really want to fix the dress's sleeves though, because they should be gathered. Maybe I can rip the seam and recut some of the fabric and do it the way I'd planned so it has the gathered, flowy effect. It'll look a lot better that way, I think. Also, it still needs the trim on the bodice but I'm so LAZY and I kind of like it the way it already is. Oh, and I need to restyle her wig. *sigh*

I'm probably not going back to school this fall since I'm doing therapy and really need to work. Dad says he doesn't mind if I stayed home, provided I'm working, so that's cool by me (as long as I can find a job).

Unfortunately, mother's coming back home and I don't know what to do about that. I already got rid of two crazyass bitches in my life, I don't need one of them coming back. It almost makes college tempting. ALMOST.

I can't wait until this weekend. \o/ Happy almost Canada Day and happy almost Independence Day!

Peace~

Finally cleaned up my watchlist, hopefully my inbox will be less spammy.

I've finally gotten some cosplay pictures up and I'm due for another sketch dump soon. I've been debating on whether or not to put those other sketches in my scraps, just for the sake of posting something here. Idk.

Still looking for a job, still doing counseling--will be getting meds soon after I see another specialist--so hopefully the panic attacks and bad mood swings will uh... not happen so much.

It really means a lot when the few people who were ACTUALLY THERE FOR ME during these past few months still continue to talk to me and not expect me to wait on them hand and foot. You can tell when people actually care about you when they at least try to be sympathetic, instead of unstable and demanding. ... Anyway. Enough of that! 8| Things are looking up, so I should too.

Lot of storms lately. Been playing GS3, gearing up for finally playing GS4 and I can't WAIT for Kenji to come out this winter. Mm, Edgeworth.

I don't even know why I post these anymore.

I HAVE SOME NEWS I CAN'T SHARE JUST YET... but boy, is it making me happy.

Peace.~

Postal Service (the band) rocks.

Also, the U.S. postal service rocks (though I wish they'd deliver things a little *ahem* more quickly). But anyway.

I've been saying "I'll have more art up soon!" for months, and usually only putter out just a fraction of what I'd originally planned. I wish I could get back into the habit of doing photography and doodles, but I think I've just hit a creative slump. There are a few pieces I'm trying to work on, but... Eh. There's one painting in particular that's giving me trouble and I hope I can get it done this summer at least.

I really need to start doodling and practicing again. Oh, but I HAVE been using the tablet a little more often and it turns out I don't suck as bad as I thought I did. Yay!

Lookin' for a job, not holding out hope of finding one. Which sucks, 'cause I reaaaaally need the money. >_>

Tempted to do commissions. And fuck, I owe someone a plushie. Better get going on that. |D

Anyway:

GYAKUTEN KENJI AHASDLFLSDLK GOD WHY CAN'T I READ KANJI AND THE BETTER PART OF KATAKANA. Gyakuten Kenjiiiii. I can't wait for it to come out in the U.S. I will freaking SCREAM. \DDD; EEEEE.

Peace~

There aren't a lot of things that stir within me smoldering anger. No, not the anger with which you would lash out at someone straight away. This sort of feeling boils and burns the blood. This is the sort of fury that gives rise to revolution, if fed and cultivated and backed by determination and faith in your cause.

I feel torn right now; torn that I can do absolutely nothing to help certain people, torn that there are injustices and sicknesses that I have some connection to but not enough direct ties to in order to adequately make a difference.

So I will say this, and damn the consequences.

How dare you fuck around with other people. How dare you ruin the lives of those around you, only to turn around and blame it on them, then hurt one of the people who deserves it the least. How dare you think you have the right to mess with other people's lives with your disgusting treachery, your chaotic bullshit. You have no right. No right.

I don't hate you, but for the first time in my life, I hate the actions of someone other than my mother. I hate what you've become. Your filthy excuse for what you're apparently trying to pass as "human behavior" is idiotic and pointless.

I certainly hope you enjoy ruining the rest of your life. I know I have a fear of being alone, and I know I always will be--but you will be more lonely than I ever will, and you want to know why? You treat people like shit, like dirt, like things to make you feel better. You're selfish and--I reiterate--disgusting. I only care this much because I loved you like a sister and you broke that trust over and over and over until there was nothing left--then blamed it on me.

Enjoy your fake, shallow life, and if we ever speak again, my words are still going to be the same.

My only question is this: Why the fuck did you have to keep doing this to someone you pretended to call friend?

Heaven help me if there's an answer to that, because I highly doubt it's either worth hearing or anything close to a rational thought.

I have never, ever felt so much pity in my life. Not even for mutti.

You really took the cake, dear. Don't choke on it.